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  • You are my sunshine

    You are my sunshine

    Gwen really likes to play with me. She'll run into the bathroom, hide behind the door, and wait for me to drum my fingers along the space where the hinges are. Then she leaps forward and smacks at my hand with her paws. If I did this with Aeris, it would be a disaster, because Aeris has never learned that claws hurt. But Gwen is so gentle and playful that it's fun.

    She waits for me to fall asleep at night and then slips onto the pillow next to the bed. There she'll stay until I get up for the morning, and then she does too. She only sleeps on that pillow at night.

    When she's not feeling stressed out by Aeris (which we're working on), she is such a happy-go-lucky cat, but not obnoxious. She doesn't get in your face, but looks delighted and kitten-like if you initiate some play with her. Here and there, she decides that running is far superior to walking, and runs everywhere. I think she acts like a much younger cat than I've been told she is, without the behavior problems associated with young cats.

    Gwen makes me so happy. So much so, that I feel a little guilty sometimes, because I do have two other sweet, loving girls that I really do love just as much.

    There's just something special about Gwen. Maybe it's that infectious happiness, or that when she gives her love, she gives it so fully. (And in a uniquely Gwen way) I have this feeling about Gwen that she is the type of cat who would run after someone who was threatening me and tear them up if she had to. It's like she swore a wookiee life debt to me.

    I love that quirky little Koo, who snuggles with me so contently on the couch. I love Aery Bean, who will throw herself on my arms and expect that I'm going to let her cuddle me. (And I do) I don't like imagining us without any of these girls, as they are all my family.

    I think what it comes down to is that I'm in a better place emotionally with Gwen. When I got Mikenna, I was deep in grief for Max, and paralyzed with anxiety from day 1 that she would die. With Aeris, I was deep in the trenches of untreated anxiety about just about everything. I had forgotten what cats were like, and found this crazy little ball of fluff to be overwhelming.

    With Gwen, I understood (mostly!) what we were getting into. I expected the worst and have been pleasantly surprised with how she's blossomed and become so fun. I'm in a stable, supportive environment, and despite my qualms with my medication, it does keep my anxiety in check. I'm able to enjoy Gwen without worrying about her life span or what else may come. It's a new experience for both of us, and I'm immensely grateful.

    Gwen is my little sunshine.